Gf needs validation
Often, if we are experiencing a communication breakdown, or if there is a wall between us and someone else, it most likely has been built with the bricks of invalidation. This is a powerful tool and life skill. Mastering it will greatly elevate your emotional intelligence and your "people skills". We are often unaware of how we invalidate others. The latter is particularly true of people experiencing difficult times or a loss and of people who are highly sensitive, insecure, have low self esteem or who are easily intimidated.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why You Never Give Women Your Validation
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Stop Seeking Validation In A Relationship Or From An ExContent:
Emotional Invalidation: A Form of Emotional Abuse
It's just not appealing to you. Your partner, the more sensitive of your twosome, may find these seeming disinterests to be a problem. Your lack of outward emotion or evident fiery passion might plant seeds of insecurity, causing him or her to be constantly in a state of emotional uproar, which only makes you all the more confused.
Your partner thinks you don't care and you don't know what you can possibly do to prove otherwise. It isn't that you don't love this person, you do. You just don't understand why you need to be constantly up each other's butts in order to show or prove that.
You're in this relationship, aren't you? Isn't that enough validation that you, in fact, want to be with this person? You're not a Goddamn robot; you're just not mushy, touchy or particularly feely. You're logical and you do things with a purpose. You've just never been an emotional person. You live inside your head and though you love your boyfriend or girlfriend with all your heart, you just aren't adept at expressing thoughts and feelings outwardly. It can be difficult at times because your partner doesn't understand how you're feeling and you are clueless when it comes to reading him or her.
You may sometimes come off as cold, which can lead to his or her family thinking you're cold and bitchy. Your sharp, sometimes slicing sense of humor can't be masked and your lack of lovey-dovey inclination can offer a bitter impression -- especially because those closest to your boyfriend or girlfriend knows he or she is sensitive. When you're out with your friends, you aren't all over him or her. You engage equally with both parties. While this may seem all fine and reasonable to you, your partner gets upset because he or she believes you should be all over him or her, making sure your partner is comfortable and attending to his or her needs.
You just want a shot of whiskey and a nap. The love never feels equal to your partner. He or she is convinced your lack of innate sensitivity points to a lack of commitment. Your partner gets frustrated with you for not giving the validation he or she needs, and you get frustrated you need to give that validation in the first place.
The trouble is, you don't know how to back down and you absolutely refuse to say you're wrong when you're sure you're right. Your aggressive behavior can often lead to your other half crumbling into to tears.
And -- ugh -- inevitable discussions about your emotions. He or she doesn't understand tough love is your way of showing affection. You don't beat around the bush because your feelings just aren't easily hurt. It doesn't matter what you do, somehow you're always the problem. You don't think you're acting any differently than you were yesterday, but suddenly, your boyfriend or girlfriend is upset about your behavior. You become easily irritated at the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend always seems to be mad at you.
You live for the pockets of happiness, of calm seas, but it feels like, more often than not, you've done something to upset him or her. Walking on eggshells can be a very exhausting thing. You don't like to be affectionate, especially around other people. It just doesn't feel natural to you. Maybe you'd like to feel relaxed kissing someone in public, but it feels weird and wrong to you.
This will leave your boyfriend or girlfriend feeling unwanted and may make he or she feel like you're embarrassed of him or her. Even though this is definitely not the case, you can't explain it in any way that's going to satisfy them. It's not even that you don't want to, it's that if you're not together, you're likely otherwise engaged.
You might be at work or you might be out with friends, either way your partner is not constantly on the forefront of your mind. When you text someone, it has a purpose.
When you send a message, it's because you need an answer. As the more sensitive person in the relationship, your partner is likely also the more passionate.
He or she will want to pick fights just to get the emotional fix from you he or she desperately craves. One thing that will upset and torture you is having to listen to your boyfriend or girlfriend whine about stupid, inconsequential problems. You don't get fazed by small events and happenings, but your partner could freak out over something his or her work husband claimed that Jenny from accounting said, which came from Bill from advertising who apparently really hated your partner's outfit.
When he or she is upset, you know you're supposed to comfort him or her, but this kind of behavior is a little baffling to you. You don't want to be held when you're upset, so why would someone else? You're just not great with this kind of thing, so like Chandler Bing, you offer a sarcastic comment instead.
To you, nothing says, "I love you and you are very attractive to me" like a good old hump session. This is how you express how much you care about your partner, by showing him or her how much your body likes his or her body. To your partner, physical expression like this doesn't provide enough substance, but for you, it is all you need or want.
By Gigi Engle. When you're not an emotional person, having healthy, balanced relationships can be challenging. You don't like fighting and you have no patience for stupidity.
You're direct. You think with your head and your partner thinks with his or her heart. These are 15 things that happen when you're the less sensitive person in the relationship: 1. You're not great at expressing your emotions. Your partner's parents think you're frigid. Your partner thinks you're more interested in your friends than you are in the relationship. You just don't roll like that. You fend for yourself and so should everybody else.
Your partner always wants to talk about his or her feelings. Your partner is afraid you don't love him or her as much as your partner loves you The love never feels equal to your partner. You never back down in a fight.
You feel like you're always fighting, but don't always know why. You're very direct and you always hurt his or her feelings. Your partner doesn't have the kind of confidence you have and that can be infuriating.
You're always the problem. You find yourself apologizing all the time just to avoid an argument. It feels like your partner is always mad at you.
PDA makes you uncomfortable. You'll never be the first one to send a text. Your partner can never get a rise out of you. You have zero patience for petty problems. You don't know how to comfort your partner.
You express your love for your partner with sex. About Contact Newsletter Terms Privacy.
Validation: The Most Powerful Relationship Skill You Were Never Taught
I have a desire to be adored by men. As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly. Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me.
But because the strongest force in the universe is irony rather than gravity, it can seem that the harder you strive for finding that special someone, the more it slips away from you. And neediness is the antithesis of attraction. It is the magic formula to make relationships disappear and drive off potential life-partners. It is the magical formula to make sex disappear. Neediness is the state of excessive desire for affirmation, affection or reassurance from others.
It's just not appealing to you. Your partner, the more sensitive of your twosome, may find these seeming disinterests to be a problem. Your lack of outward emotion or evident fiery passion might plant seeds of insecurity, causing him or her to be constantly in a state of emotional uproar, which only makes you all the more confused. Your partner thinks you don't care and you don't know what you can possibly do to prove otherwise. It isn't that you don't love this person, you do. You just don't understand why you need to be constantly up each other's butts in order to show or prove that. You're in this relationship, aren't you?
RLE: How To Handle Girlfriend Seeking Validation
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April 6th, by Nick Notas 6 Comments. The first few months of a connection are exhilarating. Most of the time, their partners are incredible.
What to Say When Your Girlfriend Is Having a Meltdown
She was pissed and rightly so! She eventually called me, and I did a fantastic job of comforting her. Or at least I knocked it out of the park in comparison to her unendingly sweet but ultimately lost husband.
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Stop Missing Dating Opportunities
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I no longer put him on a pedestal. Whoever I date pretty much can do no wrong in my book, which is very dangerous. I make sure my relationship is a two-way street. I see us as complete equals.
When we think of what we can do to nurture our relationship, we often think of tangibles. Buy her diamond earrings. Take her out to an elegant dinner.
Or in a crisis , text "NAMI" to Donate Now. Here are a few quick insights from us, a husband and wife who have navigated these rough waters together for several years. Embrace empathy and validation.
Prefer to listen? Check out the related episode from the I Hear You podcast. Non Necessary cookies to view the content. Yes, men need it just as much as women.