How to get over a breakup with your best friend
I have been broken up with approximately four times in my entire life. Which is great, but just not right for me. My heart felt like it was a sponge, getting squeezed by the hand of someone I was starting to fall madly in love with. But the fourth breakup was the one that broke my heart in an unusually painful way. I wanted to make sure I heard these words correctly. My best friend stood there, on the corner of the street, clasped her hands over her mouth and shut her eyes.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Best Friend Break Up Advice
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- Why Ending a Friendship Can Be Worse Than a Breakup
- How To Get Over A Breakup With Your Best Friend
- To My Best Friend, After Her Break Up
- How To Get Over Losing Your Best Friend You Dated
- How to cope when a friend breaks up with you
- How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You
- 7 Ways to Move Forward After a Painful Breakup with a Friend
Why Ending a Friendship Can Be Worse Than a Breakup
I have been broken up with approximately four times in my entire life. Which is great, but just not right for me. My heart felt like it was a sponge, getting squeezed by the hand of someone I was starting to fall madly in love with. But the fourth breakup was the one that broke my heart in an unusually painful way.
I wanted to make sure I heard these words correctly. My best friend stood there, on the corner of the street, clasped her hands over her mouth and shut her eyes. Just months before this moment, she and I could be caught laughing in the backseat of Ubers, coming home from Friday nights out, dancing to Bruno Mars while cooking weekday pasta dinners , and traveling to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights.
There were hardly any warning signs. The month before she seemed distant, cold and hardly answered me back when I texted or called. My heart skydived to the pit of my tummy. I begged for an answer as to why. I begged to fix whatever I had done wrong. But she didn't have anything to tell me. No reason. No explanation. Just that the friendship was over. And as she turned away and left, I sobbed on the corner of Fifth Avenue, and for many days after, even now, almost a year later, my heart aches as I write this.
It can be worse than a romantic breakup because you feel like you lost your sidekick, your go-to person, your safety blanket. Not only could this be why it hits harder, but it also leaves us mentally unprepared to handle the situation. Which is why, when it happens, it can feel all sorts of uncomfortable.
Benjamin Ritter, founder of Live for Yourself Consulting and The Breakup Supplement, says that losing a close friend can feel like you are losing a part of yourself and that there are a few immediate things you can do to help yourself heal. The more I told people other friends and co-workers what happened to me, the more I realized that not only was I not alone, but that plenty of people have been on both side of the conversation, even as the friendship enders.
The other technique she suggests is talking about the bigger picture and explaining your decision. Almost a year later, I think about that ex-best friend on a weekly basis and wonder what I did to make her want to end our friendship. While I may never get my answers, the experience has been a learning opportunity, reminding me to continue to put effort into being a good friend to those I care about in my life, and teaching me what not to do should the time come when I am the one doing the unfriending.
Want more tips like these? Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram. Follow better. Get the Better newsletter. Social cues How to know when it's time to break up with a friend. Box up the old memories. But this time, it meant getting rid of clothing that I borrowed from that person, pictures that were all over social media, and even birthday gifts that were given to me. It was hard to let these things go, but what was even harder was unfriending her on social media.
Unfriending her online was the right thing to do since she pressed the unfriend button offline. Stay busy. The next thing that Ritter advises is to fill up your free time. If you don't, you may find yourself feeling lonely and focusing on the fact that your friend decided to move on. Next to their names I wrote down one nice thing I could do for them that month and also reached out to make plans with them, whether in-person if they lived nearby or via Skype if they lived far away, to make sure that our friendship was maintained.
After losing a close friend, I wanted to do everything I could to make myself a better friend to those that I cared about. The last thing Ritter advises is the hardest. It's not personal and has little to do with who you are, more so, who your friend wants to be.
This helped me understand that quite possibly, one of the reasons why I was broken up with was because our lives were moving in different directions and we shared different values when it came to friendship.
What's the best way to break up with a friend?
How To Get Over A Breakup With Your Best Friend
Tracee Dunblazier. They just want to be honest and true to their feelings. Expectations of expensive gifts, engagements, or possibly: they only intended a summer fling that carried on too long. All relationships are negotiated and if you begin with a common understanding of what you both want then you can bypass a lot of confusion, misunderstanding, and hard feelings. So, those unwanted holiday break-ups just might be inevitable.
Maybe it starts with you seeing less of your friend. Or maybe you had a blowout fight and some harsh truths were spoken. Epic arguments or disagreements can dissolve a friendship. One of them may be more self-involved, have less of a need for companionship, or have less time for friends. Shifting from one phase of life to another can impact a friendship.
To My Best Friend, After Her Break Up
Best friends are meant to be forever, right? Men come and go but our girlfriends are the ones we believe will stick by us through thick and thin. So, what happens when things go wrong? Experts say losing our best friend may be even more devastating than breaking up with a beau. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. Friendships are also vital to our happiness and longevity. Researchers found women with no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period.
How To Get Over Losing Your Best Friend You Dated
BFF breakups are notoriously brutal. Unlike romantic relationships where you can vent to your bestie for hours over too many mimosas, losing your closest friend can leave you feeling even more hollow and isolated. Getting through it is no easy feat, but it can be done. Eventually, things can get so much better than you'll be weirdly grateful that the breakup happened.
TV shows often glamorize our abilities to give relationship advice to close friends. The reality, of course, is less straightforward. Every relationship is different — which means every breakup is, too.
How to cope when a friend breaks up with you
Do you have an ex who was once your best friend? Is your friendship ruined? If you are wondering how to fix your problems, read on. Log in Facebook.
Researchers at Manchester University , for example, found that women are often more traumatized by dumping their friends than ending things with a lover. Women, they discovered, tend to feel a sense of shame over releasing a friendship — often blaming themselves for shirking their sense of duty. Though most people try to avoid such painful experiences, friend breakups are sometimes unavoidable. And even necessary. Research has shown, for example, that toxic friendships can be linked to illness.
How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You
Getting over a breakup with someone you really loved is difficult. But getting over a breakup with someone you considered your best friend is even worse. The question after that isn't how to get over your partner; it's how to get over your best friend. In an OK relationship, you feel like you and your partner are generally on the same page and that the two of you have a good time together. You probably spend most evenings and weekends together, and you enjoy doing things with each other. In an awesome relationship, though, it's all of those things and even more. Not only are the two of you generally on the same page, but you are always thinking the exact same things. And all of the time you spend together makes you realize again and again that they are truly your best friend.
They tear me apart and it takes me months, if not years , to get over them. I give my all to anyone who is in my life and that includes my friends. And when that person is suddenly no longer in my life — for whatever reason — I feel the gaping hole they once filled as an important person to me. I was a theater-geek so of course, I said yes.
7 Ways to Move Forward After a Painful Breakup with a Friend
Whether the friendship ended because the two of you gradually grew apart or because one of you hurt the other, you can begin to move on by keeping yourself preoccupied and getting to know new people. It can be really hard to get over losing your best friend. If you need someone to talk to, try talking to your parents, siblings, or another friend. It can also help to give yourself some kind of closure by writing down your feelings in a letter.
You might have been the one to decide to end it, or maybe your former friend decided to end it. The friendship might have been toxic or codependent , or it may have been totally fine and wholesome. It might have ended out of the blue, or you might have just gradually drifted apart. Though friendship breakups are not discussed as often as romantic breakups, they happen to everyone.