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What do you want your life partner to be like

It's easy to list what you find unappealing in a potential mate, but identifying the qualities that make someone desirable for the long haul is a slightly tougher task. What exactly qualifies a person to fulfill the role as your life partner? Not everyone runs a mental checklist before taking the ultimate leap — some just know. But regardless of whether or not you choose to follow that instinct, it doesn't hurt to validate that he or she is the one. To distinguish between someone who's good for right now vs. If there's someone in your life with these 20 qualities, don't let go.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER LIKE!?(NEXT LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP?! )*PICK A CARD*✨ LOVE PREDICTION! ✨👫❣️

17 important qualities to look for in your life partner

Romantic relationships are a challenge for everyone. Fact 1: All of us have inborn needs for love, care, and attention, which when not met trigger core emotions of anger and sadness. Over time, we can defend against these needs in a variety of ways.

Fact 2: People in relationships cannot realistically meet all of the needs of their partner. Given these two facts, inevitably there will be times when we feel unloved, uncared for, unappreciated, hurt, and angered. That is not bad. That is not good. Research by The Gottman Institute showed that how we handle conflict is a major predictor of relationship longevity.

We can become pros at handling conflict. Below are five qualities to look for in a life partner. These qualities help ensure that the two of you will be able to move through the tough times and even grow closer as a result. Empathy is the ability and willingness to put yourself in the skin of another person and imagine how THEY feel. Without a capacity for empathy, treating you with compassion, kindness, and consideration will likely not be a priority for your partner.

When relationships are strained, humor can diffuse a struggle and transform a moment from bad to better. For example, Wayne knew just the right time to use humor with Jenna. He could tell when her mood shifted for the worse. Wayne could sense Jenna was irritated with him.

His question stopped Jenna dead in her tracks and forced her to reflect. Now that her anger was conscious, she could figure out what was bugging her and talk about it with Wayne directly. Two people who love each other and who are motivated to stay together have the power to work out all conflicts.

Working out conflicts, however, takes time, patience, and skillful communication. During strife, emotions run the show. Emotions are hard-wired in all of our brains the same way. No matter how smart or clever we are, no one can prevent emotions from happening, especially in times of conflict and threat. It is only after emotions ignite that we have some choice about how to respond.

Some people react immediately, indulging their impulses. That is how fights escalate. Others pause to think before they act. Thinking before we speak or act is best because it gives us much more control over the outcome of our interactions. In the beginning of a relationship, things usually go smoothly. But when the courtship period ends, differences and disagreements start to arise. Before conflicts emerge, it is a good idea to talk about establishing a set of ground rules for arguments.

The goal here is to learn specific ways that you can help each other in the midst of a disagreement. For example, you can agree to talk in a calm voice versus shouting at each other. In setting ground rules, the idea is to anticipate conflict and arguments and rehearse how to do damage control.

Your partner learns how NOT to make matters worse for you; and you learn how NOT to make matters worse for your partner. Because each of you is the expert on yourself, you teach each other what you need when you feel bad, sad, angry, and the like. An eye roll can send one person over the edge while an eye roll has no affect on the other partner at all. No good ever comes from that.

I recommend that together you write down your ground rules. Finding a partner with these five qualities may not be easy. And, you will have to be somewhat vulnerable, summoning courage to talk about these qualities. Hold on to the belief that you are worth it and you deserve to be in a mutually satisfying relationship. Also hold on to the fact that many people in the world, women and men alike, want loving partnerships.

The five qualities above will guide you in finding your loving partner. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. Find help or get online counseling now.

The Capacity for Empathy Empathy is the ability and willingness to put yourself in the skin of another person and imagine how THEY feel. Humor When relationships are strained, humor can diffuse a struggle and transform a moment from bad to better. Humor is not always the right approach. But when it works, it works well. The Willingness to Keep Talking Two people who love each other and who are motivated to stay together have the power to work out all conflicts.

Problems have to be talked out until both people feel better. Understands the Importance of Establishing Ground Rules In the beginning of a relationship, things usually go smoothly. Everyone has different triggers. Psych Central. All rights reserved. Hot Topics Today 1. This fever can't be measured with a thermometer. Moms And Bipolar Disorder.

35 Qualities You Should Look For In A Life Partner

Commitment, because the only way for a relationship to continue to grow is if you both take it seriously. Working through a problem will be necessary, but shouting or getting overly defensive will get you both nowhere. An awareness of when not to cross the line. Because having fun and letting loose is important, but too much of a seemingly light thing vacation, alcohol, spending money can be a bad thing. Interests outside of you, or else the two of you will get sick of each other in no time.

Updated: September 3, Reader-Approved References. Choosing your life partner — the person you want to spend the rest of your days with — is one of the most important decisions you'll make in your life. Living most of your life with the person you love can be a joyous, mutually-fulfilling experience, but finding and choosing the right person can be a monumental task.

Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. Were they too controlling?

The Only 3 Things I Need in a Life Partner

Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want. In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself. Previously, I needed to be with someone in order to feel content, to have someone love me in order to feel loved. Breaking up with past boyfriends was so painful because it felt as if I was breaking up, as if I was being torn from a part of myself. What I discovered was that I had to learn to be whole. And when I started to work on that, my life changed.

How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 1

And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are on average happier than single people and much happier than divorced people. Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position, compared to what their situation could be. All the research on how vastly happiness varies between happy and unhappy marriages makes perfect sense, of course. Well, start by subtracting your age from

How to find a life partner or choosing the right life partner is a high stake decision and it starts with understanding what to look for in a life partner.

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11 Things You Should Contemplate Before Choosing a Life Partner

Apr 30, Relationships. And yes, that picture you see paired with the article is actually one of my wedding photos! Now, of course, this list is totally subjective and not at all complete.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 8 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married

Dating can be completely frustrating to begin with, but it's even harder when you don't know what you're looking for. Worse is when you have the slightest idea of what you want, but you feel too guilty asking for it. In a recent Bustle survey, almost 20 percent of participants who said they're single and dating said their biggest dating goal is to figure out exactly what it is they're looking for in a partner — but that's often easier said than done. And, if you're naturally not assertive, it's difficult to suddenly start demanding your needs overnight. Irwin tells Bustle.

The Most Important Quality To Look For In A Life Partner

Choosing a life partner is the most important decision you will ever make — far more crucial than choosing a job, house or group of friends. The course of love never did run smoothly, and neither did the course of quitting your job, moving house, having children or dealing with tragedy. The right person will put their cards on the table, even if it means risking getting hurt. Life is hard enough without worrying about whether someone is going to show up or call when they say they will — a reliable, solid partner will never leave you wondering where you stand. Even though mundane things like shopping at Ikea can be tortuous and insipid, having the right partner to go with can transform the most dull of tasks into an afternoon of laughter and new private jokes to laugh about. Never forget that your family have your back more than anyone else, so they can sniff out a bad partner from a mile away.

Nov 21, - For example, if you are a movie buff, you would ideally like to be with While choosing a life partner, you need to consider your and your.

Share: 0 Instead, it can be found on your TV, Monday nights at pm. Not a girlfriend, a wife.

A Therapist Shares 8 Things To Look For In A Life Partner.

Romantic relationships are a challenge for everyone. Fact 1: All of us have inborn needs for love, care, and attention, which when not met trigger core emotions of anger and sadness. Over time, we can defend against these needs in a variety of ways. Fact 2: People in relationships cannot realistically meet all of the needs of their partner.

Several months ago, I wrote a Husband List. And that made me start thinking about what really are the top three non-negotiable traits in an ideal partner? Those are pretty solid answers. I agree with her for the most part, those things are certainly important.

Deciding to look for a life partner is a big deal. It can be daunting — how can you know if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life?

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